So I have finally realized a simple truth, that you might have thought I’d have grasped a pregnancy or two ago: the third trimester is exhausting. And maybe it’s worse when there are two toddlers to chase around, but honestly I think I’d be pretty exhausted even without their interference.
My biggest “problem” this time is that I had a routine, and was doing a reasonable job of keeping laundry washed, food on the table (and more importantly, off the floor), kids happy and schooled, and dust bunnies banished. Things weren’t perfect, but for perhaps the first time in my life, I was starting to understand how the whole housekeeping thing was supposed to work.
Now it’s really, truly all I can do to keep up on the bare minimum: the kitchen and dining room are cleaned enough to keep flies away, the clothes are washed and folded but not put away, dinner is getting kind of repetitive and chronically simple (but still edible, I think, and occasionally in existence), and the floors are getting vacuumed but rarely mopped.
And the blog, you’ll notice, is perilously close to abandoned. I don’t have energy to think at the end of the day, much less write! Hopefully it’ll be back by February.
All this is driving me CRAZY. I”˜d forgotten how tiring this stage was–or maybe I just plain didn’t realize in the first place since I had lower expectations for myself–and I didn’t see it coming at all. This pregnancy has been more comfortable up to this point than the other two, and I guess I assumed it was going to keep going so nicely. So now I’m really struggling with figuring out what is laziness and what is genuine inability to do what I “need” to do. Some critical points I’m trying to focus on:
- Trying to be realistic without being complainy. Which is hard. There’s a certain amount of communication necessary, but it’s always easy to wallow, too. 🙂
- Figuring out what really needs to be done, and what can realistically get done less often–or not at all–until January. I probably don’t need to be cleaning out the basement or blogging.
- Using every moment I do feel okay. They’re not very often, but some days I have an hour or so. I’m trying to be conscious of those and work like crazy until I’m ready to fall out. Some days (like today) they don’t seem to happen at all.
- Asking for help with activities that should be easy for a normal person, but aren’t for me. Like picking up ten million toys off the floor this might take Seth ten minutes, but a lot longer (and a lot more exhausting) for me right now. Other things, like running to the store, aren’t a lot slower for me to push through myself.
All this to say, the blog isn’t “dead” or on hiatus, but I definitely won’t be keeping up with a remotely regular schedule of posting anytime soon.